The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
for release August 27, 1999
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
Some States Require Criminal Checks For Hired Caregivers
Question: My parents, 86 and 89, need help daily with personal care and household chores, such as cooking. We want to hire someone to help and don't know whether it's better to use an agency or hire someone privately. We've heard so much about abuse of older people by caregivers. Advice please.
Answer: While the media plays up the bad situations, the vast majority of hired caregivers do provide good care.
Whether you hire someone privately or through an agency, you need to check references carefully, the local and state consumer affairs office, and police department.
A number of states require home care agencies to do criminal background checks on employees. If you send me a note, I'll tell you if your state requires such checks.
Also, regardless of how you hire, there are certain safeguards: Advice from a home care agency owner.
1. Don't have more than $200 cash in the house. If the caregiver does some or all of the shopping, have her leave the receipts in the envelope.
2. Lock up good jewelry and silver.
3. Make an inventory -- written and with pictures -- of antiques or any other valuable items.
4. Give definite instructions in reference to the tasks of the caregiver.
5. Monitor the care and your parents' physical and mental health.
If you hire privately, which is less expensive, make sure the person is in this country legally.
And even before you hire anyone, both you and your parents should interview and approve of the person. It's important your parents like the person - after all it's their house and care.
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Question: My mother, 81, recently came to live with us. I work and therefore think she'll be better off at a day care center than staying home alone. How can we be sure she won't be abused?
Answer: You're right in thinking your mother could be happier at a day care center - unless she's independent and can still drive. (My mother drove until the night before her last illness at almost 92).
Visit the center. Talk with the employees, attendees and their family. Observe the physical condition of the attendees and the center for cleanliness; brightness and overall environment; the activities; and how employees interact with attendees.
A few states require criminal background checks of adult day center employees. I'll tell you if your state has such a requirement if you'll send me a letter.
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Question: My father, 79, has been getting notices from Medicare about doctors' bills it has paid. In one case, we never heard of the doctor, and in another my father never received equipment Medicare paid for. What's going on?
Answer: Fraud! Abuse of the Medicare system!
Unless the doctor was a specialist who might have been called in by your father's primary care physician, someone is getting paid for services never given. Same goes for the equipment.
Check with your primary physician to make sure he/she didn't call in a specialist.
You should immediately call Medicare and report these charges as being false. The fraud hotline is 1-800-447-8477. You might even get a reward if funds are recovered.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 535 words; other material = 160 words
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©1999 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.