The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
for release February 25, 2000
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
EDUCATION IS VALUABLE REGARDLESS OF AGE
Question: My mother just turned 65 and wants to return to school to get a degree in literature. My brother thinks it's a waste of money because of her age. I think she should go for it. Who's right?
Answer: You and your mother! Learning and doing things, being productive and contributing to one's self development is never a waste of money.
Many people started new careers or achieved significant things in their later years. Col. Sanders established Kentucky Fried Chicken at age 65. Winston Churchill at 65 became British Prime Minister at a critical time in history. At 67, Louise Boyd was the first woman to fly over the North Pole. At 70, Golda Meir was elected Prime Minister of Israel.
And many in the arts and literature field accomplished some of their greatest work; Betty Friedan (72) wrote "The Fountain of Age." Clara Barton, founder of the American Red Cross, at 76 was a nurse during the Spanish-American War. And at 78, Grandma Moses took up painting seriously.
There are hundreds of such examples in a book "What's in an Age." Continue to encourage your mother and tell your brother to bug off.
* * *
Question My father, 45, has been an accountant for 20 years and now wants to return to school to get a degree in education and then teach math. My grandparents are very upset and say he should concentrate on making money so my brother and I can go to college. My mother doesn't know what to do.
Answer Everyone should do what they enjoy most. If your father gains more satisfaction by teaching math to young people, then he should do so. Good teachers always contribute much to society.
Your father can continue accounting both during the learning process and while he's teaching. A small self-practice can help the family's finances. His teaching will give him the inner satisfaction we all need.
* * *
Question My mother, 80, wants to attend an Elderhostel program this summer that is 1,000 miles from where she lives. We think she's too old to travel so far alone.
Answer If your mother is mentally alert and physically able to travel alone, her age should not stop her from enjoying these marvelous programs.
One friend of mine (your mother's age) travels from Florida to such programs all across the country. She's been to Montana, Washington and last year to Wisconsin.
Airlines and other travelers cater to older people. A 95 year old friend of my mother told me she likes to travel better now than when she was younger. "Everyone helps me so much I don't have to worry about anything" she told me after my mother's funeral.
* * *
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 460 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.
©2000 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.