The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
for release March 10, 2000
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
PATIENCE NEEDED IN DEALING WITH HEARING LOSS
Question: My mother, 88, just moved in with us, and I didn’t realize just how hard of hearing she is. My two teenagers are having great difficulty communicating with her, and think she’s senile. How can they develop a better relationship with their grandmother? She’s the only one left.
Answer: The “keys” to handling this are patience and slowing down the verbal process. Just because someone’s hearing has declined doesn’t mean the person is senile.
The keys are something teenagers often don’t have. Sit down and help them understand and accept the fact that your mother’s hearing problems are not deliberate, that hearing capabilities often decline with age.
TIPS to help communication:
> reduce background noise (such as TV) which interferes with
hearing
> stand or sit in front of the person so he/she can see your
lip movements
> speak slowly, in simply understood sentences
> ask one question at a time and wait for a response before going
to another
point/idea. Hurling too many ideas at her at one time
might confuse her.
> Allow time for your mother to clearly hear what was said and
“digest” it
> don’t interrupt while she is talking; give her a chance to
respond/communicate without thought interruption.
> don’t rush to communicate; slow down and don’t appear to be
rushing
Most important, have her professionally tested as a hearing aid could be very helpful. Technology today has improved these devices.
* * *
Question: My aunt, 90, lives alone and has someone help her with many household chores. But basically she’s alone much of the time. Her vision is deteriorating, and we’re afraid of accidents. She’s already burned herself. Help please.
Answer: There are many TIPS as well as visual aids to help those with lowered vision. Many things are common sense and various devices can be purchased.
> To avoid burns, label faucets with red tape for hot water and
blue for cold. Premarking or setting optimal faucet temperature is
also helpful.
> Remove telephone cords and lamp wires from walking areas.
> Use colored drinking glasses, cups and plates, with sharply
contrasting place mats or table cloth.
> Get a cordless phone with large numbers and program in frequently
called numbers. Then she only has to hit one number instead of seven
or eleven.
> Appliances like microwaves should also have large numbers to
make use easier.
> Make sure someone every couple of weeks checks the food in
the refrigerator and throw out old and/or already spoiled food.
The local Blind Association will have books which can help her remain independent in her own home.
* * *
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 445 words; other material = 160 words
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