The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
for release May 12, 2000
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
You Don’t Give Up Everything To Qualify For Medicaid
Question: My parents, in their 70Æs, have few assets. My mother has had several strokes and may need nursing home care. We’ve reached the point where my father can’t take care of her, and I live 100 miles away. We’ve been told that they have to give up all of their assets if they want Medicaid to pay. Is this true?
Answer: No! While there are financial requirements, the community spouse (in this case, your father) can keep the house, a car, all personal belongings and items, and term life insurance (if no cash-in-value). Your parents can also prepay for their funerals.
Your father can keep a maximum of $84,000 in assets (in addition to those mentioned above). He is entitled to keep a minimum of $16,000. There are differences in state formulas, so check with your local agency on aging.
Your mother can only have $2,000 or less of assets in her name and a monthly income of less than about $1,500. State criteria may differ slightly.
So, you need to take a look at all of their assets, and how they are owned. Then you might shift stock and the house into your father’s name only.
If your mother does go into a nursing home under Medicaid, it is advisable that your father change his Will so that if he dies first, your mother will not inherit. That would disqualify her for Medicaid and those assets would then go to the nursing home.
Best advice: if parents have limited assets and need nursing care, in the beginning use some of those assets to pay privately for the nursing home, and later apply for Medicaid. This way, you choose the home you want.
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Question: My father, 86, is quite frail, but basically healthy. My sister is trying to get him to give her the house, and sell the few stocks he has and give us the money in case he has to go into a nursing home. He says, “no way.” What should I do?
Answer: This question is coming up more and more. Support your father’s position and make sure his assets stay in his name. He should be the control point.
There is always a balance between what you need and what you have. If assets are considerable, your father can pay for care in his own home or for assisted living or nursing home care.
To give away everything just in case you might need to go into a nursing home some day in the future seems ridiculous to me. So, help your father maintain his independence and financial integrity.
As a P.S., you should have Durable Power of Attorney for your father in case he reaches a point where he cannot handle his own financial affairs.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 470 words; other material = 160 words
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