The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
for release August 25, 2000
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
De-Stress The Natural Way Avoid Fads and Drugs
Question Both my mother, 73, and I are having a tough time handling my father’s incapacity from a stroke. He was a difficult person before, and now is impossible. While I’m having some difficulty juggling all my own chores, family and job, my mother is really stressed out emotionally and doesn’t get enough sleep. She refuses to see a doctor. We do have an aide coming in to help with bathing, etc.
Answer Medical studies indicate that 80% of major illnesses involve a high stress factor. Stress has actually been linked to increased incidence of heart attacks, diabetes, asthma, allergies and back aches. Stress depletes the brain of serotonin, which helps maintain a positive mood, and other chemicals that then negatively impact your immune system.
It is important your mother address the situation. Otherwise, she may
end up in the hospital herself. Several natural things can help reduce
stress - for both yourself and your mother. According to recent studies:
• Get enough complex carbohydrates. They are rich in stress-relieving
B-complex vitamins. Avoid the Atkins diet.
• Get enough sleep. Some experts say 7 hours. Biofeedback can
help.
• Limit caffeine. Not only can it keep you awake at night, but
it can destroy vitamins B and C in your body.
• Put major emphasis on self-care. Go off by yourself for at
least half-an-hour a day. Meditate; read; garden. Do whatever relaxes you
and takes your mind off your list of daily chores.
• Talk about your concerns and feelings. Some say sharing, halves
the problem.
Adjusting her own life style and daily routine can help your mother. And perhaps more paid-for help is appropriate.
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Question We were at my parents over the July 4th week. We were shocked by how gray-looking my father (76) is. He said he’s not sleeping well and walks around at night. During the day, he’s very sleepy. Recently he started taking a new medicine for arthritis. Could this be the problem?
Answer It could be. Medication - even over-the-counter ones - can keep a person up at night. Insufficient sleep increases the stress level and other problems can result. You should talk to your father’ doctor.
Loss of sleep at night can also lead to falls and serious injury. If your father is still driving, his reaction time may be poor and an accident is probable.
Aside from the advice given in the previous question, other “helps” include avoid eating a late heavy dinner and alcohol. Plan relaxing activities at night - not vigorous exercise. Use the bedroom only to sleep in.
An Irish proverb says “the beginning of health is sleep.”
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 450 words; other material = 160 words
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