The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
for release October 27, 2000
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
SEEING CREATIVE RESULTS = SELF-ESTEEM BOOSTER
Question: My father recently died, and my mother, 77, seems lost and doesn't know what to do with all her time. I remember her drawing pictures of funny animals for my sister and I when we were kids. Can I help her revive this talent?
Answer: Most definitely. Creativity doesn't go away!
You can
* identify drawing courses at local senior centers, adult education programs, or local community colleges. Encourage her to enroll so she can refresh her technique.
* ask her to draw some pictures for your house, grandchildren, or other young relatives or friends. Get them framed and present them as gifts.
If she's really good, she might develop a hobby into making money.
Neighbors might have grandchildren who might like framed pictures of funny animals. And she might also draw animals on the walls of kids bedrooms or play room.
My niece painted the walls of the play room with all kinds of animal characters easily recognizable by her two sons. It was awesome.
I go to craft fairs. I find it amazing how creative people can take bits and pieces and make such pretty objects.
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Question: My mother, 75, wants to put all the family pictures (from 4 generations) in an album, and write notes about various members of the family. She's the only one left in that generation. I think she'll get depressed thinking about everyone who has died and that she'll probably be next.. I'm trying to discourage her.
Answer: Lately, I seem to use the words "encourage him/her" often, as more older people want to do something new or different. All too often children seem to think parents are "too old." Nonsense.
Such an album is a marvelous gift for future generations, a history of the family. When she goes, will you know who all the people in these old pictures are? And when she or you go, all that family history is lost.
I tried to get my mother to do that with family pictures that were 90 to 100 years old. She never did, and now no one knows who these people are. What a tragic loss.
While she knows these people are no longer here, reminiscing helps bring up happy memories. This can be a self-esteem validator for your mother. She'll clearly see what her family and she and your father have contributed to society.
There is an interesting book, "The Creative Age: Awakening Human Potential in the Second Half of Life," that talks about creativity at different stages of life. It also talks about the achievements of so many well known people as they aged.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 420 words; other material = 160 words
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