for release December 8, 2000
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
Animal Comfort Solves Multitude Of Emotional Illnesses
Question: My mother recently passed away, and my father, 76, is a lost soul. He just sits in his easy chair staring into space. He refuses to move in with us.
Question: My mother, 79, was always very active. Since hip replacement surgery, she is very depressed. The doctor wants to give her an anti-depressant. She refuses.
Question: My grandson, 4, is hyperactive and doesn't sit still for a minute. We're all exhausted trying to take care of him. I don't know what to suggest. My daughter refuses to give him any medication.
Answer: While all of these situations are different, a commonality can lead to a solution - pets as healers. I'm a firm believe in pet ownership and the ability of animals to heal. I also feel, too often drugs mask symptoms, but don't "cure."
In all of these situations, a pet (rather than drugs) might be the answer.
We all know about seeing-eye dogs and dogs that can alert deaf people to someone at the door or the telephone ringing. In recent years, we've even heard about dolphin therapy. Animals seem to achieve marvelous results where humans and drugs have failed.
Scientific studies are showing positive results of pet ownership in situations dealing with everything from heart disease, hypertension, mental illnesses, depression as well as various physical disabilities. British studies show that pet ownership by men have reduced cholesterol and blood pressure levels more than in women.
In these first two situations, a pet can provide companionship, unconditional love, enhance self-worth and "need" sense, and can help bring the depressed to another higher living stage. Just having something "living" in the house can be meaningful. Being greeted in the morning or when I come home by my jumping and tail-waving dog is uplifting.
British studies have shown that violent people who have established a bond with an animal have been substantially calmed. So, a pet (a cat, a rabbit, a guinea pig, a ferret) that the child can sit with and pet and talk to might be helpful. You do need to make sure he doesn't abuse the animal.
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Question: My father, 80, has decided he wants to get a couple of gerbils. He said he saw them in a pet store, and they seem quite lively. They look like rats to me, and I'm cringing.
Answer: Help your father pick out what he wants and make sure the proper cage, play toys, and food are also purchased.
Gerbils are lively, and watching them play or scamper up and down the roller coaster toys can bring smiles to your father's face. Smiling and laughing help improve health.
Caring for the gerbils, feeding them, will help your father's need to be needed. Gerbils are affectionate animals and provide unconditional love - something everyone needs.
Great holiday gifts.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 465 words; other material = 160 words
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©2000 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.