for release February 16, 2001
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
Crafts -- Are Gifts and Leave a Legacy
Scenario: In response to an earlier column on crafts and stress reducers, several readers wrote they found knitting, needlepoint or crocheting “insipid” and “boring” activities. That they’d rather twiddle their thumbs in a doctor’s office. They want to know why I think they’re so great.
Answer: As I sit here answering their questions, I am looking at two marvelous needlepoint “pictures” done by my aunt many years ago. Even though she’s been “gone” more than 20 years, she’s still here. She left me her own legacy.
Also, a very old chair refinished by a cousin (also long gone) sits in front of my desk. I feel a continuity of life.
For caregivers, they are a great stress reducer and provide great personal achievement and satisfaction.
• The repetitious movements don’t require a lot of mental concentration. It’s difficult to read if you can’t concentrate.
• The “movements” do provide a mental and physical distraction from everyday problems.
• You can do them while you’re listening to music or talking with someone else.
• They are a good topic of conversation and sharing.
• You accomplish something concrete.
• You can make relatively inexpensive gifts and give them with love.
• You can even sell them and make money yourself or donate the finished items to a charity to be sold to raise money.
One woman who was having trouble with her teenage son and her aging parents, told me “I was numb. I needed a distraction, something I could do without having to concentrate. Something that could make me feel productive when there were so many things out of my control. Initially, it did a lot to keep me sane.” Her needlepoints adorn cushions round her home.
When I was writing an article for the magazine, a minister said, “the arts connect us to the energy and breath of life - that is, the spirit. Only then, we can direct our energies to making peace.
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Scenario: I met a white haired woman recently hobbling on crutches, with her foot in a cast. When I asked her what happened, she said “I tripped on laundry I was carrying down the stars.” Now I put my dirty clothes in a pillow case or plastic bag and throw (rather than carry) everything down the stairs.
Do remember: More people fall in their own home and seriously injure themselves than are killed in car accidents and plane crashes combined.
Safety is very important to maintaining health and independence. This time of year you shouldn’t use coil or fan driven space heaters as they are fire hazards. Ones with oil inside heat more evenly and can’t start a fire.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 455 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.
©2001 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.