for release March 2, 2001
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
EASY WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS
Question: I have two active teenagers (too young to drive themselves), an eighty-year-old father who lives three blocks away, a (disgruntled) husband and a part-time job (nurse). No one's happy, and I have a headache all too often. How can I properly juggle doing everything for everyone?
Answer: First you may have to learn how to say "no," and seek alternative ways of getting chores done (by someone else).
More importantly, you need to take time to relax yourself. We all hear about common TIPS to reduce stress. Hopefully here are some new ideas.
· Every couple of hours, stop what you're doing and take ten deep breaths. Breathe in from the diaphragm, hold your breathe for ten seconds, and slowly release.
· A self-scalp message and finger pressure on key parts of the
head can work wonders. Massage more on sore points for about a minute.
Place your third finger on the sore point and move it in a small circle:
· along side your ear near the top of the curve;
· on either side of the bridge of your nose, at the end of the
eyebrows;
· on both sides of the top of your head;
· on the back of your head, behind the lower part of your ears;
· Take a small ball and roll it around your palm, hitting all
areas. Do this for two to four minutes once or twice a day. This can be
done in the car as you wait for your kids or while watching TV.
· Biofeedback. "Tell" your scalp, forehead, and cheek muscles to relax. Repeat 10 times for each muscle area. The old saying "Mind over matter."
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Question: Everyone's talking about jogging and extensive exercise to relieve stress. I live in a city, with my parents (late 70s) living 15 blocks away. You can't jog on city streets and I don't have time to go to a gym.
Answer: Instead of taking a bus or taxi to your parents, walk at least one way. 15 blocks is usually less than a mile. Clear your mind of all thoughts and take in some deep breaths every couple of blocks. Regular walking helps clear your brain, improves digestion and lowers blood pressure.
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Question: My parents, in their late 60s, want to put some money away for my children's college education. They are 10 and 7. What's the best way to do this?
Answer: There is no one "best" way. Today there are many options which can even provide tax advantages to your parents. Which one you choose, in part depends on your parents' own financial situation. If they have extra money -- money they'll probably never need for their own care -- one of the special college funds can be helpful.
If there is the chance your parents might need the money themselves, a more conservative approach is advisable such as CDs or a savings account in trust for your children. Because your parents retain control, they can still access the money.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 460 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.
©2001 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.