for release May 4, 2001
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
YOUTH: NO EXCLUSIVE ON FUN
1st of a 3 Part Series
Youth has no exclusive on fun, on learning, or new exciting experiences.
Vacations play an important role in everyone's life -- regardless of where you are on the age hierarchy. Longer health spans mean that travel can continue for those in their 80s, even 90s.
A 96-year- old friend of my mother, told me, "I love to travel now more than ever. Everyone helps me." She'd fly coast to coast several times a year.
Periodic vacations -- even mini-ones --, a change of pace, a new environment are important in maintaining a healthier and happier health span. Regardless of age, vacations involve people with other people and bring people beyond the normal activities of daily living. There is always the human need to foster personal fulfillment.
So planning a vacation with an older parent can be exciting, an adventure, if planned properly. Or it can be a disaster.
Regardless of the combination, multi-generation vacations can help cement family relationships at a time when family members are often miles apart.
Steps in making a multi-generation vacation work.
· Decisions should be made jointly, from choosing the location and transportation mode to the activities. Sandwich generationers shouldn't just say, "Mom, I want to go to _________. Do you want to go with me?"
· Put down on paper vacation activity likes - and dislikes.
· Develop "dream" lists - the places you'd like to visit. Compare lists and choose the site.
Looking through travel and tour brochures can be fun. All those beautiful colored pictures. By getting two sets of brochures, each of you can look through them at your leisure, even when you don't live nearby. Then you can compare impressions and come to a mutual agreement.
Strengths and weaknesses need to be considered.
Look at:
· The length of the
trip to avoid becoming overtired or bored. Too long a trip can create anxiety
in some older people.
· Food : Are there any dietary restrictions. Don't go to Asia, if one of you can't enjoy the food.
· Medical needs. Take prescriptions of all medicines, and carry the medicine in your hand bag (not in your luggage). Get a list of hospitals, if there is a chronic illness problem.
· Physical mobility. Are there any limitations? Is the destination handicapped friendly?
· Vision limitations impact destination choice, mode of travel, and activities. Avoid hilly terrain and steps, vigorous sports, and even possibly museums, where vision impacts enjoyability levels.
Hearing loss also impacts destination choice and kinds of activities. Avoid places with a lot of noise and bustle, if the older person wears a hearing aid.
· Incontinency may be a minor or major problem. Overseas travel warrants bringing appropriate supplies.
· Activities should be spaced to allow mid or late afternoon breaks. Then night activities can be better enjoyed.
Once all limitations are identified, appropriate planning can be done. They shouldn't discourage vacations and trips. Everyone can still have fun.
Next Week: 3 generation vacations
* * *
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 510 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.
©2001 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.