for release June 15, 2001
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
WHERE TO FIND HELP
Question: My parents, 76 and 72, live 50 miles away in a relatively small town. They refuse to leave. Their income is limited, and they are having problems paying all the bills. We can't help them. Where do we get help?
Answer: Help is out there! Telephone calls can help identify sources.
· Area Office on Aging for a list of resources in their
area.
· The local real estate tax office to determine if there
is
a senior discount, or tax abatement program. Also check the state.
· Call their electric and gas company. There are credits
and discounts available.
· Pharmacy programs help pay for medicine.
· Community transportation programs.
· Meals on Wheels.
· Food stamps.
* * *
Question: My mother, 79, goes to an Alzheimer's day care center during
the day. At night, I have to help her with practically everything. I work
full time and am exhausted.
I need help.
Answer: Medicare can help pay for someone else doing some of the ADL (activities of daily living) chores - such as bathing, feeding, etc.
Under new legislation, people attending licensed adult day care centers are considered home bound for the purposes of receiving home health services under Medicare.
* * *
Question: We live in a small community with few services for seniors. We see a need for an adult day care center, especially for those who are confused. We hate to see them sit home alone all day. We don't know how to start.
Answer: Adult day care centers are marvelous ways of ensuring a safe environment for the confused as well as much needed peer socialization.
Partners in Caregiving, at the Wake Forest University School of Medicine, has been a leader in adult day care centers. They have information available to help you establish a center. Call Nancy Cox at 336-716-4941, and tell her I gave you her name.
* * *
Question: We have a senior center in town, but my parents, 76 and 73, refuse to go there. They sit home all day long. How can I get them to go?
Answer: Not everyone likes organized activities. If your parents never liked such activities, they're not going to change. So, don't waste your breath.
This said, participation also depends on what activities and trips are available. Visit yourself. See what activities are offered, and what kind of people attend.
If only much older people with disabilities attend, your parents' reaction is very understandable. Or it might be the activities hold no interest.
Look further around your community. Churches often have marvelous lectures and trips. Local adult schools and colleges also have fascinating programs for all ages.
You should take a look at things they did and enjoyed years ago. Are they still able to do them? If so, encourage. If not, try to identify new activities. If they still resist, you should back off. Even if they are unhappy about their lifestyle, it's their decision. Accept it!
* * *
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 480 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the
"Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.
©2001 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.