for release September 28, 2001
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
NOTE TO EDITORS: this is the 1st of a 3-part series on finances.
PROTECT YOUR $$$: WHAT NOT TO DO
Question: My parents, 81 and 83, have about $1 million in assets. They each have a will, which leaves everything to the survivor. We think they own everything jointly. My father refuses to discuss ways of avoiding estate taxes when the second of them dies. How can we get him to do something?
Answer: Many people are very private about what they have, and don't want to give details to their children. Many so-called tax avoidance plans are complex. Others are very simple. That doesn't mean that planning should be avoided. There are some simple things that should be done.
The new law does not do away with estate taxes. There are still taxes on a graduated scale. So planning is critical. Why pay Uncle Sam more than you really need to?
In your parents case, give them copies of simply written articles that point out that splitting asset ownership and putting some into a marital trust as part of a Testamentary Will can save thousands of dollars.
You should initiate the discussion and accept that your first few times may not be successful. Tell your father you're concerned about how much of his hard-earned money will go to Uncle Sam and not his children and grandchildren. Tell him you really don't need to know exactly what he has.
If he still refuses to listen to you, perhaps his accountant or lawyer or a friend who has done some planning can intervene. An important part of financial planning is a Durable Power of Attorney. Your parents should have one for each other, with someone else as an alternate. And you and your wife should have power of attorney for each other.
* * *
Question: My brother and I want our parents (mid-80s) to transfer their house to us. Their health is beginning to fail, and one may need nursing home care. They refuse. How can we convince them?
Answer: Your parents are 100% correct. Aging parents should not transfer their home to a child. It is their home and the deed should remain in their name.
Aside from the risks I've talked about in previous columns, there are several important $$ considerations for you and your brother. First, your parents would be making a gift over $10,000 and so gift taxes might have to be paid.
Second, when you go to sell after your parents die, you would be subject to capital gains taxes, with the value of the house based on your parents' original cost.
Third, if your children or your brother's children need financial aid for college, they could be disqualified. Having your parents' house in your name would mean the value of your assets could be too high to qualify for financial assistance.
While I'm not an attorney, unless there are unusual circumstances, people should not transfer their home to someone else. The vague possibility of maybe needing nursing home care is not a good reason.
* * *
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com. Carol also has a web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 475 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the
"Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.
©2001 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.