for release October 12, 2001
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
HEIRS CAN EASILY BE CHEATED
NOTE TO EDITORS: this is the 3rd of a 3-part series on finances.
Question: I'm 70 and getting married to my high school sweetheart. I have three grown children from my first husband and six grandchildren. How can I make sure they get my house and stocks?
Answer: Congratulations. A friend of mine did the same thing after 40 years apart.
The answer is really simple. Keep all your assets in your name only. Give one of your children a Durable Power of Attorney in case you ever need help handling your finances.
Make a will that does one of two things: (1) Upon your death all your assets go directly to your children and grandchildren; or (2) your assets (at your death) go into a marital trust, with income going to your new husband. Upon his death, they would then go to your children. A prime example of what can happen when assets are owned jointly is in an article SF#007, on my web site www.thesandwchgeneration.com. The article will be available in October.
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Question: My mother, 65, is getting married, and her future husband wants her to put her house in his name too. He's also trying to get her to have joint bank accounts. My father left her "comfortable." We're suspicious that he just wants her money.
Answer: I can't tell you whether your suspicions are right or wrong. I would react the same way you do. Only you can decide. A little investigation is certainly warranted. It would be worthwhile to hire a lawyer to investigate.
As with the first situation above, your mother should keep her assets in her name only, and Will them to you and your siblings.
Remember that jointly owned assets go to the survivor - and children would get zero.
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Question: I'm 68, and recently inherited several hundred thousand dollars from my father. While I love my husband, I want our children to get the money directly after I die. How can I be sure of this?
Answer: Keep the assets in your name only. A must. Do not co-mingle them with your husband's assets or your joint assets.
In your Will, state which assets (be specific) should go directly to your children.
Nowadays it is always beneficial to keep inherited assets in the one person's name. This protects them for you in case of divorce (even at your age) or certain creditor problems your husband may encounter.
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Question: My father, 69, remarried many years ago. My two brothers and I are married and have children. Our stepmother has two children from her first marriage. We have recently learned they have "love" Wills. What are they? Will we get anything if my father dies first?
Answer: "Love" Wills are wills that leave everything to the surviving spouse. You and your brothers will get zero if your father goes first. Your stepmother can leave all your father's assets to her children. And again you will get nothing when she dies.
This is the reason even simple planning is critical!
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com. Carol also has a web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 470 words; other material = 160 words
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©2001 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.