for release November 9, 2001
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY: DO CALL 911
Question: My father, 77, lives alone and is very independent. He has developed some minor health problems. We're worried that he's so independent he won't call us or 911 in case of a problem.
Answer: EMT (emergency medical technicians) and paramedics tell me that it's better to be safe than sorry. Many crisis such as strokes and heart attacks have a narrow window of opportunity to be able to receive medication to lessen permanent damage. Usually this window is one to three hours.
They also tell me that people should not be embarrassed to call.
Other tips:
· Even if you can't talk, dial 911 and leave the phone off the hook. Technology allows EMT to track the address and help can be on the way.
· Use a regular phone, rather than a cell phone, to enable EMS to track where you live.
· Lie down, because that reduces the work the heart has to do to ensure a smoother flow of blood throughout the body.
· On your refrigerator leave your doctor's name, and a family member's telephone number. Also, very important, a list of medications taken. This knowledge will help determine EMT treatment on the scene.
· Regardless of the pain level, EMT says "call" them. Better to be safe than sorry. Don't wait until 7:00 A.M., if you're having problems at 2:00 A.M.
In addition, there are medical alert devices - a bracelet or medallion that are very helpful. Your father can alert them or talk with them 24 hours a day if he's not feeling well. This will also give you some peace of mind.
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Question: Over the years, my mother, 76, has gained weight, and now is 15 pounds heavier than she should be. She refuses to diet.
Answer: First of all, what one "should" weigh is highly individualized and various elements are involved. Weight charts often offer a range based on a standard that might not fit your mother.
Second, medical studies have shown that being a few pounds overweight is a protection to older people in case they get ill. Being a little overweight appears to be healthier over time than being underweight.
Third, and most important, if your mother is healthy and feels good about herself, you should leave her alone. Diets can make you feel unhappy about yourself.
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Question: My father has stomach cancer and is in a lot of pain. He's in a nursing home and the doctor refuses to give him enough medication. We're upset.
Answer: You should be upset. With all the medicines available, no one should have to be in pain! Get another doctor. Pain is not a normal part of aging or dying.
Many states have patients rights laws and some (e.g., California) address pain management issues.
In fact, in California, a doctor was convicted in 2001 of elder abuse due to his under treatment of a patient's pain.
The Compassion in Dying Federation, has information on all states' laws Their telephone number is 503-221-9556. Also there is web help: www.lastacts.org.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com. Carol also has a web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 485 words; other material = 160 words
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©2001 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.