for release December 28, 2001
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
OUTLOOK KEY TO HEALTH AND HAPPINESS
Good wishes cross many miles this holiday season. Happy holidays and the very best in the New Year.
The Sandwich Generation column is now entering its fifth year. So, I
do want to thank all the readers from coast to coast. One of the things
that has surprised -- and
delighted -- me this year is the number of e-mails from readers in
their 70s, 80s, and even 90s! I'm a multi-generation advocate and hope
the column has helped everyone, regardless of age, deal with the challenges
of aging.
As I myself prepare for the New Year, I change calendars. Amidst my past clutter, I came across one from ten years ago, when I began my own sandwich generation travels. The calendar pictured brown-robed monks with marvelous sayings, which I'd like to share with you.
· Life is what thou makest it, so makest fun!
· Smile (sometimes it is the only thing thou canst do!)
· Laughter lightens the cloudiest day!
· Advice is more fun to give than to receive!
· Wisdom is knowing what to overlook!
Then, I was reading a book, probably one of my romance novels, and the following paragraph seems so appropriate for everyone, for life as it can be:
"Never look back. All the yesterdays are gone as if snuffed out like so many candles; a little of their smoke might linger to fog the mind and cloud the heart, but it is always better to look forward."
As this time of year is one for sharing, I'd like to share some Words of Wisdom from an older reader who helps keep me on my toes.
"Everything has a reason, and comparing things helps. We take nine months to get into the world, and sometimes years "drag" to get out when old. The nine months are development. The later years may also be so for eternity. Why complain or despair about God's goodness, veiled as it is? Joys and hopes will again be renewed even as our awakening day after night rest. Be thankful for whatever God gives -- joys, disappointments, surprises, longer waits, realizations."
And in light of the tragedy at the World Trade Towers and the Pentagon, I went to my mother's little brown book of sayings that is always in my top desk drawer. A few to help us all put our lives on an even keel and to get through the next year.
· "The wise are free of a thousand sorrows and a hundred dreads that each day trouble foolish heads." The Hitopadesa
· "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty." Mahatma Gandhi
· "Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men! Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks." Phillips Brooks.
May the Year 2002 be a better year for everyone. More Words of Wisdom in Conversations With Carol #4 on our web site www.sandwichgeneration.com
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com. Carol also has a web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
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©2001 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.