for release February 22, 2002
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
STRESS AND DEPRESSION LINKED
Question: I'm 55 and caring for my mother, 85. Between running errands for my mother and chauffeuring the kids around, I sit in a corner feeling sorry for myself. I'm in a rut.
Question: My husband, 73, had a stroke, and I'm the sole caregiver. I haven't slept good in weeks. Should I see a doctor?
Question: My father recently died, and my mother, 78, has lost weight and doesn't want to leave the house. She always loved food and doing things with friends. I don't know how to talk about this with her.
Answer: Stress and depression know no boundaries. Everyone of every age faces stress in today's hectic life. The stress experienced in elder care or aging situations is more troublesome because you are faced with things you have never had to face before. In all of these cases, this is the story. The adult child trying to take care of her mother, the wife taking care of her sick husband, and a woman who lost something of herself when her husband died.
Understanding stressors helps in coping better. I recently attended a seminar titled "The Anatomy of Stress in an Aging Society."
Pointers from that conference.
· Stress is impacted by genetics, environment, and coping style. The newest element from a medical point of view is genetics.
· There is a strong connection between stress and illness. The immune system breaks down, and various illnesses walk in.
Chronic stress often coupled with being overweight can result in Type 2 diabetes.
· Stress and depression are also closely linked, especially in caregivers. Again the immune system breaks down.
· Depression is not a normal part of aging, even when a person has a serious illness. So the cause needs to be identified.
· Depression may not be just mood changes. Decreased motor activity, changes in weight and/or eating habits, not being able to sleep, and no longer getting pleasure from life's activities are depression triggers.
· For an elder, lack of control of one's life and loss of being able to do all for self are stressors and can result in both depression and illness.
· A person can deal with acute stress better than chronic (long term) stress. Chronic stress can lead to physical and emotional fatigue and decreased functioning of the immune system.
· Stress is the result of how a person views an event, situation, and/or environment.
· Depression is probably the most under diagnosed and under treated illness.
TIPS in coping:
· Identify the cause of the stress and/or depression.
· Change the stressor element in your environment.
· Reinterpret your reaction to events, which can help reduce the stress level.
· Exercise is important in maintaining positive hormonal levels and in maintaining better balance and muscle tone. This is especially important for older people.
· Vitamin C and E can be helpful. Discuss dosage with your doctor.
· GET HELP. THE most important element. Help in actual care tasks and help to deal emotionally with the new situation.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com. Carol also has a web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
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