for release March 29, 2002
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
LIFE SHOULD BE FULL OF FUN
Question: My mother, 76, and now a widow, originally wanted to be an actress. She married instead. Now she wants to try acting. It'll mean she's with a lot of strangers and has to drive at night. We're torn.
Answer: My own philosophy is that life should be fun and minds should engage new experiences.
Community and senior theater are growing. Acting is only one part of a production. Help is needed with stage design, costumes, lighting, publicity, recruiting and administration. So there are many opportunities for seniors to become involved in something new, challenging and fun.
This is not to say it doesn't also involve hard work and dedication. But the hard work pays off when audiences enjoy and sincerely appreciate the performance. Good audience response boosts one's self-esteem -- and outlook on life, in general. Theater is also a way to make new friends at a time in life when one is losing them.
So help your mother identify opportunities in her area and encourage her. New fun interests provide a new lease on life.
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PETS and FUN -- There are other kinds of new friends one can make, regardless of age. They give unconditional love and make no judgments -- pets.
One of our readers wrote about her 81-year-old mother, who moved in with her after a bad fall and surgery. The letter clearly shows the benefit of fun in one's life and pets, specifically.
"We had to juggle around bedrooms to make room for Grandma. The only problem was that the two grand kids had two female rats, Dottie and Sweety. Those rats ended up in her bedroom for lack of anywhere else to put them."
"First she was squeamish about having them around, but they are very friendly and they won her over. She even bought a rat for herself, and named him Elvis. Elvis lived up to his name of being a womanizer. Both of the girls became pregnant. Mother enjoyed those rats so much; just watching them play, eat, and even sleep. When Sweety had her 12 babies my mother got to watch them being born along with her granddaughter and great granddaughter. They were all so excited, it was the first time any of them had witnessed the miracle of birth. What an event for an 81 year old great grandma to experience."
"My mother also has a beloved dog, Holly who is her constant companion. We have 2 other dogs, one 30-year-old horse and an old pony. We know from experience how important it is to have animal around. They can make a world of difference in a person's life and give unconditional love and laughter. So please keep encouraging your readers to have pets of some kind, that are suitable for their circumstances."
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 475 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the
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©2002 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.