for release May 31, 2002
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
Medicine Should Not Create More Health Problems
Question: My 86 year old mother's doctor of decades retired, and a very young doctor has taken over the practice. He has given my mother medicine for, he says, high blood pressure and cholesterol. She has become dizzy, confused, and fell the other night on the way to the bathroom. She has always been very healthy and active. She wants to stop the medicine. What should we do?
Answer: Stop the medicine, and tell the doctor about the negative reaction.
I am not a doctor, nor am I a fan of medicines that create more serious lifespan problems. Medicine for high blood pressure and cholesterol can also do serious damage to kidneys and the liver, organs that are already very frail in the elderly. They can result in the problems your mother is experiencing.
At this stage in life what difference does it make if your mother's blood pressure or cholesterol is high. None that I can see. At the same time, she can reduce the amount of salt and fats she eats. Changing eating habits can help reduce these levels.
* * *
Question: Both my parents (late 70s) have taken anywhere from 8 to 15 different prescriptions for many years. A new doctor says they don't need most of them and they should stop taking them. They're reluctant. What should they do?
Answer: Good for the doctor! Hopefully he evaluated your parent's health and eliminated pills no longer needed. Too often doctors keep adding new medicines without eliminating others.
When a medicine is prescribed, the doctor should be clear as to why he thinks you need it, what it will do (how it will help), and adverse side effects.
Older people take an average of 10 pills a day. To me that's an awful lot. This number certainly can contribute to misuse. And if a person is confused or forgetful, taking any medicine might even end in death. An extreme statement yes. But it is important to take drugs as prescribed and only if they are beneficial.
* * *
Question: My father, 84, has Alzheimer's and refuses to get dressed in the morning. He'd rather sit around all day in his old plaid pajamas that are falling apart.
Answer: Your father undoubtedly likes plaid and whatever color these pajamas are. Take him to the store (if he is mobile) and steer him to the section where plaid or print shirts are located. Let him pick out what he likes. All too often children (very well meaning) choose what they think is "appropriate" for an elder. But it may not be what the elder likes.
If he can't get to the store, get some catalogs and let him go through them and tell you what he likes.
There was a woman in a nursing home who hit the caregivers and made terrible sounds -- until they discovered her favorite color was red. Then her daughter bought her red and other bright color clothes.
* * *
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 500 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the
"Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.
©2002 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.