for release August 23, 2002
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
CAREGIVING STRESS CAN BE DISASTROUS
Question: My mother, 81, has Alzheimer's and has been living with us now for six months. I'm so stressed out, I'm walking around in a fog and can't concentrate. Am I starting Alzheimer's too?
Answer: I'm not a doctor. But it's unlikely you have Alzheimer's. There can be any of many reasons why you feel mentally fuzzy.
According to a new book, "Female and Forgetful" by Elisa Lottor, Ph.D. ND, and Nancy P. Bruning, reasons may include:
* taking Lupron or Tamoxifen for menopausal hormone replacement
* high stress levels which leads to neural damage
* poor circulation from lack of exercise
* chronic fatigue/insomnia
* chronic dieting or dieting binges
* drinking too much soft drinks/soda
* eating too much sugars and/or carbohydrates
The book is worth reading.
* * *
Question: I (60) am taking care of my 87-year-old mother, work part-time, and take care of all the household chores for husband and myself. I also baby-sit for my 3-year-old granddaughter. Lately I've felt burned out, and my concentration at work is suffering. Do I need an anti-depressant medicine?
Answer: You probably don't need anti-depressant medicine. What you do need to do is simplify your life and reduce the tasks you do. Make a list of all the things you are doing for your mother, your husband, your child/grandchild.
Which ones do you really need to do? Which ones can your mother do for herself? Where can you get help to do the "needs" ones?
In reference to your husband, what can/should he be doing himself? How can he help you? He certainly should.
In reference to your granddaughter, do you really need to do it? What about babysitters? If your daughter has financial problems, if you can, pay for a babysitter rather than do it yourself on a regular basis.
In addition to reducing what you do, learn more about yourself.
Overwhelming stress and fuzzy mental thinking can be the result of malfunctioning of your body's chemical and metabolic processes. Most regular doctors (internists, family practitioners, etc.) discount the integrated workings of the body and seem to focus on specific physical ailments. They don't seem to connect together everything that is going on and often ignore the emotional stress elements of life.
Seek out a good holistic M.D. or D.O.. one who looks at all the body's processes (as opposed to organs) and who is knowledgeable about vitamins, minerals and other supplements (as opposed to drugs). And read the book "Female and Forgetful."
Identity theft is growing at a scary rate. Everyone needs to be careful and not give out unneeded information or any information to suspicious (e.g. websites) companies.
TIPS
* do not give your social security number out, except for medical
billing purposes or credit applications made in person.
* do not give your social security number out on the Internet.
* do not apply for a credit card or a home mortgage on the Internet.
* use credit cards rather than debit cards to make purchases.
* * *
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 505 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.
©2002 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.