| Globe Syndicate
for release September 27, 2002 The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents by Carol Abaya, M.A. Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy? Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities. "Assisted" Suicide May Not Be Suicide Question: My father, 74, has terminal colon cancer, skyrocketing blood pressure, and a pacemaker. He is on a ventilator, and wants my brother, a doctor, to give him a "shot." My brother is against physician assisted suicide. My father is in pain and upset. Answer: Everyone has a right to live and die according to his values. While your brother is against actively helping your father, simply removing the ventilator will probably result in death. In the interim, your father should be getting sufficient pain medication (morphine) to relieve his suffering. In this case, no active intervention is necessary, so it's not "assisted suicide." It's just letting nature take its course. Studies show that 50% of the elderly die in pain. There is no reason for this. Families and doctors need to do aggressive pain management. * * * Question: I am 76 and was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. I want to hang on as long as I can. But when the pain gets too much I want help in "passing on." I understand the federal government is against physician assisted suicide. So what should I do? Answer: The administration's efforts to reverse Oregon's assisted suicide law have failed - for the time being. A federal judge has sustained Oregon's law. While Oregon is the only state to legally allow physicians to actively help dying patients, many doctors across the country silently help ease the way for terminally ill or dying patients. For example, heavier doses of morphine not only deal with pain, but also slow down one's heart functioning. Death is thus facilitated painlessly. You should have a Living Will, which would name a medical representative to make end of life decisions for you. That person should agree and feel comfortable with your values and desires. Also discuss your feelings with your doctor. * * * Question: I am 90 and have congestive heart failure. While I watch my diet carefully, the doctor says things will get worse (rather than better). I do not want to be kept alive by machines nor do I want to be in pain. I want to remain in my own home to the end. What should I do? Answer: Most important is to have a Living Will (sometimes called Medical Power of Attorney) so your family and doctors know what you want. Become familiar with hospice resources and palliative care.
As defined by the World Health Organization, "Palliative care is the active total care of patients whose diseases are not responsive to curative therapies. Palliative care focuses on the relief of pain and other physical symptoms, as well as psychological, spiritual, and emotional well-being." Palliative care is equally important to family members, caregivers, and nursing facility staff as they deal with the suffering of someone they love and care about. Getting everyone on board is important because everyone benefits in a most significant way. * * * Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com. Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents. NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 490 words; other material = 160 words We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column. ©2002 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved. |