| Globe Syndicate
for release October 18, 2002 The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents by Carol Abaya, M.A. Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy? Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities. Ensuring Safety Demands Aggressive Action Question: My mother, 87, was never a sound sleeper. She always got up during the night and would walk around or do some chore. She now lives with us and has dementia. I'm a walking zombie because I can't sleep. I'm always listening for her to wander. Answer: There is no reason you should be worrying so much about your mother's up-at-night habits, if she always did this. There are gadgets that can alert you if she does leave the house. SMART Caregiver Corporation has some marvelous ones, which will also alert you if a person leaves a room. Their telephone number is 800-650-3637. There are also ways of making sure she does not leave the stove on (while heating up water for coffee or tea) and start a fire (because she's forgotten she put the stove on. There are shut-off gadgets for stoves. Or a switch on an electric stove can be installed that you can turn off when you're out of the house or go to sleep. Look into such gadgets and wandering protection. You need your sleep. * * * Question: My aunt, 94, insists on climbing up a ladder to replace light bulbs or fix curtains or shades. She walks with a cane and her balance is not good. She refuses to listen. How can I walk away? Answer: Even though it's her (not your) house, I'd have the ladder "walk" to another location. Hopefully that will help. She may be mad at you, but when safety is concerned I recommend a tough, pro-active stance. * * * Question: My mother, 79, has scatter rugs all over the house. I remove them when I'm there, and she puts them back when I leave. I'm afraid she'll fall and really hurt herself. Answer: You're right to be so concerned. Falls are one of the three top reasons older people end up in emergency rooms. If you can't convince her to remove all or most of them, make sure they
have strong rubber backing so they don't slide. Replace them on a
regular basis, especially in the bathroom, bedroom or kitchen. It's
cheaper to buy new rugs than to pay medical bills.
* * * Question: My father recently died and now my mother, 80, is on a "cheap" binge. I walked into the house last night and it was dark, even though the lights were on. When I asked why it was so dark, she said she changed the light bulbs to conserve electricity. She doesn't believe me when I say she's not saving anything. Answer: You're 100% correct! Putting in smaller size light bulbs can actually be dangerous. I had numerous fights with my mother. She'd put 40 and 60-watt bulbs in her bedroom and cellar. She even had put in a 60-watt bulb in the lamp next to her reading chair. I had to secretly put in bigger bulbs when she was out of the house. * * * Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com. Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents. NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 495 words; other material = 160 words We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column. ©2002 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved. |