Globe Syndicate
for release December 27, 2002
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself
and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your
once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is
dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns
and/or responsibilities.
USE HUMOR TO KEEP YOU GOING IN THE NEW YEAR
Smiling and laughing out loud releases good endorphins. Endorphins positively
impact one's immune system and feelings of self worth.
That's all well and good, you might say. But I'm overwhelmed with having to make
decisions for and taking care of my grouchy old father. I have nothing to smile
about. I also have two teenage children who think they rule the roost.
You may not know you have anything to laugh at. But you do!
Take the worst thing your cranky father does or says and twist it around. Or the
buttons the boys push most often. Make believe you are an angel looking down on
life here - and laugh. Sound silly? Perhaps.
There is a marvelous little book published years ago by the Andrus Gerontology
Center, called "Humor: The Tonic You Can Afford."
The definition of Humor, according to the book is: a disposition of mind or
feeling to make life more tolerable and enjoyable, ranging all the way from
pleasant feelings and spontaneous enjoyment to "belly laughs."
The key is that humor CAN make life more tolerable; as well as enjoyable.
Studies have shown that laughter crowds out negative emotions - applicable both
for the caregiver and care recipient. Laughter equals better health and a better
attitude of one's own self worth.
Smiles have the same effect and may be easier to come by than belly laughs. What
do I smile at? Snow flakes making the dirty ground white and clean. Weirdly
dressed teens in my classes. Little children pushing a little shopping cart in
the supermarket. (They seem to feel so important). The antics (sometimes temper
tantrums) of my Norwegian elkhound.
Some one-liners from the Andrus Book:
* Money doesn't talk anymore. It just goes without saying.
* A will is a dead giveaway.
* No one is ever too old to learn - and that may be why we keep putting it off.
* A bargain is something you cannot use at a price you cannot resist.
* The nice thing about a laugh is that so much of you has a good time.
As this year ends and a new one is upon you, treat yourself. Buy a funny book.
I've laughed out loud and the dog wants to know why. Rent a funny video. There's
too much violence - and that's a downer. Really listen to what children say.
Remember the saying "Out of the mouth of babes." Often they are very insightful.
Also remember there are many kinds of humor: jokes, yarns, grins, titters,
giggles, chortles, jollies, chuckles, ho-hos, and hee-haws.
So end the old year and bring in the new one, at least, with a smile. And smile
at least once every single day.
Looking ahead: In 2003, look for our columns on finances and some horror stories
when widows think they're "doing good;" what to look for in alternative living
arrangements; and prioritizing the caregiver's needs, rather than everyone
else's.
* * *
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered
individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever
possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o
Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk,
NJ 07765-0132) or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the
unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 500 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end
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©2002 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.