Globe Syndicate
For release Friday September 19, 2003
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
MUSIC REDUCES AGITATION
AND STRESS
Question: Both my parents (late 70s) have Alzheimer’s. We have both live-in and
back up help in their home. Their latest behavior is creating major problems for
the caregivers - and myself.
They argue with everyone (particularly each other) even though they can no
longer verbalize properly. They pace back and forth in one room for hours or
roam around the house, opening drawers, pulling books off the shelves, and more.
They fight baths and have begun to tear off their clothes, even though they are
new.
I’m so stressed out, I’m afraid I’ll have a breakdown. Need help!
Answer: I’ll answer the easiest part of your question first - their taking off
new clothes.
Are the colors and styles the same as when they were younger? Or did you select
colors and styles according to your tastes and perception (perhaps mistaken) of
what elders should wear?
A geriatric nurse in rural West Virginia told me about an Alzheimer’s resident
who was a terror, lashing out verbally (guttural sounds only) and physically.
Once in awhile, she was very calm. By doing an inventory of everything she did,
they discovered she was quiet when she had on a red dress. Deep down she still
knew she liked red. The daughter had bought her new clothes - but all subdued
colors. When new bright colored clothes were bought, the woman was much calmer.
If your parents are able to get out, take them to a store (not a mall) and let
them pick out what they like! This will help them feel better about themselves
and may reduce their agitation.
Another marvelously effective way to reduce agitation is through music. Music
therapy is becoming recognized because it reaches into a person’s soul,
regardless of mental and verbal capabilities. Music connects emotions and takes
a person “back” to “better” times. Memories are often tied into music.
Remembering good times helps enhance self-esteem and transcends the present. In
some cases, Alzheimer’s people can still sing even though they can’t talk.
Music can help promote better mental health by reducing inappropriate behavior.
Soothing music abounds in any music store. And there are some marvelous native
Indian spiritual CDs.
As with clothes, musical tastes are individual. So find out what they used to
like - and have a mix of these and more soothing sounds.
A tape or CD player in the bedroom can help encourage sleep.
Remember when bathing your young children and how they may have fought it? What
did you do? Told them stories, sang songs, made a game of getting clean. These
same techniques work with dementia people. They need to be distracted from the
main task.
There are also soothing, nature videos which can distract a person from pacing
and wandering. “Bringing” a person into the beauty of nature is a marvelous
tool.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself
and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your
once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is
dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns
and/or responsibilities.
* * *
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered
individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever
possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to
her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site:
thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the
unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 482 words; other material = 160 words
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©2003 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.