Globe Syndicate

 

For release Friday July 09, 2004

 

 

The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents

 

by Carol Abaya, M.A.

 

 

ONLY YOU CAN PROTECT YOURSELF:

EVERYONE NEEDS A POA

lst of 2 Parts

 

Question:  I’m 77 and in excellent health.  In fact, I still work at the local library.  My son wants me to give him power of attorney so he can take care of my finances.  I’m capable of taking care of things myself.  He’s getting hysterical.  Why should I  give him POA?

 

Answer:  When a person is mentally competent and healthy is just the time key legal documents should be drawn up by a qualified elder law attorney.  The key ones are Durable Power of Attorney (for finances), a Living Will (for medical decisions) and a Testamentary Will (to distribute your assets after you die.)

            You should have someone you really trust have POA for you.  You do not have to let  your son, or whomever you choose,  take over  your finances as long as you can handle things yourself.  You don’t even have to give the POA document to the designee. Just let him/her know where it is so you are protected should the need arise.

            Think of a POA as a helper document.  When you do need help, there is someone you have chosen and trust to handle things for you the way you would do things yourself.

            Same with a Living Will.  You should chose someone who will make the kind of medical decisions you would if you could.

            If you don’t choose a POA or health care representative, get sick and can no longer handle your finances and/or medical decisions, your son will have to go to court to get guardianship.

            No one should want to have a guardian appointed by a judge, a complete stranger.  You then lose complete control of your money as well as every day life style decisions.  You even lose the right to vote.

            The judge can appoint a complete stranger to take over your life.  He/she will be paid from your money for every minute spent on your care and financial matters.  A family member may never even be appointed.

            I had a POA for both of my parents.  I handled everything for my mother for a year.  When she recovered after hip replacement surgery, she took care of her personal and business finances.  I continued to handle her investments.  My father handled his own finances and paid their household bills until six months before he died at 94.  After hip surgery, he decided he didn’t want to have anything more to do with money.

            So, I was there as a helper -- doing things as needed and according to their wishes and specific instructions.

            Only you can protect yourself, money and life style.  If you think your son is only after your money, choose someone else as your POA.  Someone you really trust.

 

 

Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time?  Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?

 

Do you feel alone?  Rest assured you are not alone!  The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.

 

 

 

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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.

 

Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.

 

NOTES TO EDITORS: text =529 words; other material = 160 words

 

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