Globe Syndicate

 

For release Friday August 27, 2004

 

 

The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents

 

by Carol Abaya, M.A.

 

 

THE LITTLE THINGS MAKE LIVING SAFER -

OR MORE DANGEROUS

1st of 2 parts

 

Question:  My parents, late 60s, want to move from their big house to avoid worrying about repairs or outside yard work.  They are in good health, and active mentally and physically. They want me to go with them to look. I don’t even know what kinds of questions to ask.  Need help!

 

Answer:  Your parents need to clearly define their own personal and life style preferences and what activities they like to do on a regular basis.  From what you’ve told me, your parents could be candidates for an active adult community.

            Some general things to look at include the services available, the activities and transportation offered, the location and accessibility of supermarkets, doctors, and the hospital. More specifically, is there an activities director on staff?  Is there a club house and if so what is offered?   Also important is whether there is a registered nurse on site and on staff to help with medicine oversight and minor illnesses.

            From the financial point, do your parents want to buy a condo house or apartment?  Or would they like a Continuing Care Retirement Community, which has multi-level living facilities?   What are the monthly maintenance charges and the yearly the real estate taxes? What services are included in monthly charges? 

            Whatever specific arrangement is desired, there many areas that need to look at.  There is a major difference between the likes and needs of active 55 year olds and the needs 10 or 20 years from now.

            I have visited dozens of housing residences and see clearly that retirement developers generally do not at all understand the needs of seniors.  Just recently I visited a new “active adult” development being built near me.  One HUGE building containing 146 apartments.  Prices average well above $250,000, cheap for my area.  The basic layouts are similar to those I’ve seen across the country, both at higher and lower costs.

            My reaction, as usual, is that the layouts are not senior friendly.

            So, I’ve developed the following list -- valid for all ages, from the 55 year old active adult to the less capable elder.  The little details, often not even thought about by developers, are what make a housing unit senior friendly or unfriendly.

            A key sticking point with me is the long distance between the bed and the bathroom.  In the community I recently visited, a person has to walk through a walk-in closet area before getting to the toilet.  As one ages, it is likely that several medicines are being taken.  This could mean that when seniors get up at night, they have to get to the bathroom fast.  Or they might be a little confused or woozy.  So having to walk through another area is terrible!!   There needs to be a clear and short line between the bed and bathroom.

            I spoke with the ‘bigwigs” at the new development and told them about my concern about the bedroom and bathroom layout.   No one ever pointed this out to them.

More Details to Evaluate Next Week

 

 

Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time?  Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?

 

Do you feel alone?  Rest assured you are not alone!  The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.

 

 

 

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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.

 

Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.

 

NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 525 words; other material = 160 words

 

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