Globe Syndicate
For release Friday March 04, 2005
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
MEDICINE OFTEN INCREASES ELDER PROBLEMS
Question: My 20-year-old daughter spent part of her mid-year break with my parents (late 80s). She told us that they are taking all kinds of prescription drugs and OTC ones. She said my father sits in a chair all day in a daze-like trance, and my mother is very aggressive and hallucinates. She was shocked. So are we. I visited (we live 300 miles away) and found they are taking medicine for cholesterol, indigestion, depression and sleeping. I知 afraid to talk with their (multiple) doctors.
Answer: In medical situations such as this, I always strongly recommend that the sandwich generationer be pro-active and aggressively intervene. You should talk with their doctors. One may not know what another is giving your parents. Bad interactions can cause the problems you describe. It may well be that they do not really need all those medicines. While I知 not a doctor, I wonder why anyone at that age should even worry about cholesterol. As to the others, I値l answer more below.
If the doctors refuse to be cooperative, I suggest you get medical power of attorney from your parents. Then the doctors will have to talk with you.
Again, I値l say the following even though I am not a doctor. Get both of your parents off ALL of the medicines. None of the conditions for the medicine is life-threatening. It may take a month or two for the medicines to get out of their bodies, but you should see a dramatic improvement.
One drug my mother had for pain made her hallucinate. She said she was waiting for her mother to come for her. It took two months to clear the medicine out her system after I stopped it. There was a dramatic improvement, and after hip replacement surgery, she even went back to work at age 86.
In reference to the indigestion, the problem could be caused by a misalignment of her spinal bones (see a chiropractor) or from food sensitivity (similar to allergy but not quite the same). The sleep problem may also be caused by spinal misalignment or food sensitivities. There are tests that can identify food sensitivities.
You do need to ask a lot of questions and look at alternative treatments for the real problems.
Question: My boss has threatened to fire me because I call my mother (78) every day to remind her to take her heart medicine. I知 the only one she has.
Answer: There are gadgets, like watches, that can remind your mother when to take the pills. One time at bridge, a buzzing sound at the table startled us all. One of the players watch went off because he had to take a pill. He said he wouldn稚 have remembered because he was engrossed in the card game.
Personal conversations at work are not really appropriate and can be distractive to others near you. In reality, more productivity is lost from workers dealing with elder care problems than with child care ones.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
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