Globe Syndicate

 

For release Friday April 15, 2005

 

 

The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents

 

by Carol Abaya, M.A.

 

 

“OLD” IS NOT AN “AGE”

 

Reader’s Response:   “I see that since I wrote you about a year ago you haven’t changed your mind about people in their 70s being “still young.”  Maybe you will share your ideas as to when people become “middle aged” and “old.”  Mr. S.

 

Answer:  Mr. S’s letter was in response to my Feb. 13th column in which I said a couple in their 70s are “still young, and you mention no illnesses or specific handicaps.”  The daughter wants her parents to leave their home of many decades and move closer to her.

 

So, my answer to Mr. S’s question.  I never equate a chronological age with an adjective such as “young,” “old,” or in between.

 

Before I share more of my thoughts on this “age” issues, let me say that I have always hated the word “senior.”  Yes, a strong word.  But, “senior” what??  It’s a meaningless word.

 

Back to your original question.  There are too many variables to pick out of a hat an age number to fit in with an age designation.

 

My mother, at 90, told me that I (word underlined) was making her into an “old lady.”  During such discussions, I guess I was being a little overprotective of her increasing frailty.

 

Attitude, health, and basic capabilities are probably more important than a number on the age scale.  Some at 70 or 80 ARE “old.”  But so many more, are still “young.”

 

Proof seems to be in the pudding.  Other letters responding to recent columns where age was a factor -- or non-factor -- in my answers.

 

“Kudos on that article.  I’m aged 77 1/2, drive a 33 foot motor home towing a Jeep (20,000 miles so far) and also ride a Suzuki motorcycle.  I hope to continue traveling in the motor home for many more years.  Quite honestly though, I’ve seen senior citizen RV operators who shouldn’t even be driving a car!  Kind of scary....”

 

And another one:  “On April 14, 2011, you may send a happy 100th birthday card to me.  As a charter member of the over the hill gang, I feel I have the right to put in my 1.9% cents worth.  ....I just passed my driver’s renewal test with 100% score at age 93, I know that I am an exception rather than the rule.”  Mr. H. goes on to tell me about his many children, his 19 grandchildren, 29 great grandchildren and 4 great-great children.

 

Mr. H. ends his e-mail letter saying, “We are not wealthy, but we are independently healthy.”  And he adds that everyone should “do their best to enjoy what life remains.”

 

KUDOS to these readers who are probably more computer literate and capable than I am.  Do keep those letters coming.  I love to hear from you.

 

 

Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time?  Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?

 

Do you feel alone?  Rest assured you are not alone!  The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.

 

 

 

* * *

 

Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.

 

Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.

 

NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 529 words; other material = 160 words

 

We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.