Globe Syndicate

For release Friday December 02, 2005

The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents

by Carol Abaya, M.A.

YOU CANNOT LOSE YOUR JOB

IF YOU TAKE TIME OFF FROM WORK

Question: My mother, 78, is terminally ill with cancer. I would like to be able to take care of her, but I need to work. Is there any help out there for me?

Answer: First, you should contact your local hospice agency and bring hospice into the caregiving and supervision scenario.

Second, under the federal Family Leave Act you can take time off from work and not lose your job. You won’t be paid, but your employer must give you a job when you want to return to work.

However, most people like yourself do need the income as well as the time off. California has a law, The Paid Family Leave Law, which allows employees to take time off from work to care for an ill child, spouse or parent with pay. Several other states are considering similar laws.

If your mother is terminal, but death is not imminent, it might be better for you to continue working for awhile and use your income to pay for home care. Then you can take time off when things become more critical.

Question: My father, 81, had a stroke and has limited mobility. We have live-in help. But the helper has difficulty lifting my father out of bed and into the wheelchair. The helper is marvelous with my father, and we’d like to keep her. There isn’t another person around on a regular basis to help her. Any suggestions?

Answer: There is a whole new field called Assistive Technology. There are marvelous devices that can lift a person out of bed, into a wheelchair or even directly into the bathroom. Some are awesome.

For more information you can:

(1) Alliance for Technology Access, 415-455-4575 or www.ataccess.org.

(2) Center for Assistive Technology & Environmental Access, at 800-726-9119 or www.assistivetech.net.

(3) Abledata at 800-227-0216 or www.abledata.com.

Medicare and Medicaid often will pay for assistive devices, including electronic beds, walkers, wheelchairs and more. Call Medicare at 800-633-2273 or Medicaid at 877-267-2323.

Question: My father, 68, injured his right arm, and it is unsafe for him to drive. Otherwise, he is fit, both physically and mentally. Now he is depressed because he can’t drive.

Answer: Help is out there. Call The National Mobility Equipment Dealers Association at 800-833-0427. Modifications can be made to his car.

More Resources for help: Modifying a home often enables seniors to age in place. Such changes can be costly, but several organization can give advice and help you connect with agencies or organization that help pay for such renovations.

(1) Rehabilitation Engineering * Assistive Technology Society of North America at 703-524-6686.

(2) National Resource Center on Supportive Housing & Home Modification at 213-746-1364.

(3) AARP: Home Design at 888-687-2277.

(4) The Family Caregiver Alliance has an interactive website which can help you locate help in your area. Go to www.caregiver.org.

Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?

Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.

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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.

Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.

NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 545 words; other material = 160 words

We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.