Globe Syndicate
For
release
The
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
NO ONE IS TOO OLD TO DO NEW
THINGS
Question: My mother, 78,
has always loved flowers, and her house and yard are testaments to this. Now that my father has passed away, she wants
to spend the summer taking a course and going on a hiking trip to
Answer: Why is it that adult
children seem to think their parents are too old to have fun and enjoy themselves? I can’t
figure this out, as this “too old” reaction comes up too often.
As long
as a person is physically fit and mentally competent, one is never too old to
do new things. Encourage her! Just make sure the trip organizers and
leaders know her age and any medical problems she may have.
I think
it’s great that she is looking forward to doing something unusual and
exciting. Norman Vincent Peale once
said, “Think excitement, talk excitement, act out excitement and you are bound
to become an excited person. Life will
take on a new zest, deeper interest and greater meaning.”
Question: My mother’s
arthritis has gotten so bad she can no longer cook safely. She (82) loved to cook for hordes of
people. She’s collected hundreds of
recipes and developed some delicious dishes herself. She’s depressed because she can’t cook and
refuses to take the medicine prescribed by her doctor. I can’t stand to see her just sit around
moping all day.
Answer: There are always
ways a person can use and share a talent and interest, such as cooking,
painting, etc. Even more importantly,
sharing this love of cooking with others can help her develop new friends.
She can
teach others to cook -- grandchildren and other family members. Work with adults and children who take a
cooking class at a local school or Y.
Your mother doesn’t have to cook, but she can help the instructor by
supervising and giving hints to the class participants.
You or
another family member or friend can help her put her favorite recipes together
in a cookbook. A church or temple, the
girl scouts or even a high school class can sell the cookbook to raise money
for their activities. A book signing
event can be set up at a fund raiser, the local library or bookstore.
Knowledge
can be shared, and fun received in return.
Question: My mother, 64,
just retired. She never went to college
and now wants to get a degree in history.
What a waste of time. I work
full-time, have a long commute, and need her to help with my two children. I’m mad.
Answer: This is another case where I don’t understand sandwich generationers’ reactions. Why shouldn’t your mother finally do something she may have dreamed about for years? Why should she give up her life and dreams for you?
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
* * *
Do
you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered
individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever
possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct
to her at
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 557 words; other material = 160 words
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