Globe Syndicate
For
release
The
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
GOOD INTENTIONS CAN EQUAL
DISASTER
2nd of 2 Parts
Last
week we started the story of how good intentions can go awry if legal decisions
are not properly made. The first example
is an 80-year-old widow with money and two children. The mother has put a considerable amount of
money in joint accounts with her daughter.
This leaves the son with nothing when the mother dies. On other
documents, both children have power of attorney. Last week we discussed problems caused by
this arrangement. We continue here.
Because
of the joint accounts, the fact that both children have power of attorney would
probably not come into play.
However, if the mother did change the accounts
so that they were in her name only, the fact that both children had power of
attorney could have major negative repercussions. Both children would have to agree on
everything and sign checks even to pay routine bills such as for electric or
the telephone. Because
the children live a distance away from each other, this means mailing checks
and bills back and forth before they are even paid. If the children disagree as to what should be
paid, bills might not be paid. Also, in
relation to paying for the care of the mother, the children might disagree as
to what should be done, and the mother would become a pawn in the children’s
fighting.
The
mother talked with her accountant who told her to leave things alone. Unfortunately too many accountants (and this
would be one) know the numbers but do not understand human dynamics or even
legal, financial and broader tax
implications and repercussions of what has been done.
Case #2. This
86-year-old woman has limited assets and has both her son and daughter as
having power of attorney. She did not want to hurt their feelings by choosing
only one of them. Originally the mother
had houses in two states. In order to
avoid having to go through probate in two states, she put her major assets in a
trust in the state with the less onerous estate management rules. She is trustee of that trust. Her son and daughter are alternate trustees. However, an alternate trustee comes into play
only if the main trustee dies or is declared by a judge to be mentally
incapacitated. The judge, after hearing
testimony from two doctors, would disqualify the mother as the trustee and
substitute the alternatives. Because of
the different life values between the son and the daughter this could be an
explosive and expensive situation. The
mother’s health and mental capacity preclude making any changes at this time.
These
are two prime examples of why elders should (I think, must) keep assets in
their name only and choose only ONE person to have durable power of attorney.
In the end, only the elder can protect self. And it is the responsibility of sandwich
generationers to protect not only the assets of the parent but also the
emotional well-being.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
* * *
Do
you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered
individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible.
Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya,
mail direct to her at
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 497 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.