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by Carol Abaya, M.A.
CAREGIVING SAMENESS CAUSES
STRESS
Question: My mother, 82,
moved in with us six months ago. Her
health continues to deteriorate, and she requires more and more care. By the
time I finish doing the same care tasks day after day;
I just want to walk out the door and not return.
Answer: Repetition of
the same tasks day after day can lead to mental boredom as well as emotional
and physical exhaustion.
Creativity
can get you out of the “box.” It may be
a creative activity, such as painting, potting, knitting, playing cards. Anything that draws upon your own inner
passion and gets you so involved that you don’t think about the boring tasks
you have to do all the time.
You can
also change the environment by putting on your favorite music. Soothing classical music
can sooth. Jazzier music can get
your body automatically moving to the beat.
This loosens up your muscles and also gives you some emotional support.
Besides
changing the environment in which you work, you need to get help in doing all
those chores. No one has to do
everything for an aging parent.
Question: Between caring
for my 77-year-old father, my three children and husband, I’m a basket
case. The doctor has given me antacids
for constant indigestion and muscle relaxants for my shoulder cramps. I’m always popping pills and walking around
in a daze. I don’t like feeling this
way.
Answer: Actually tens of millions of doctors’ visits are due to
stress. So, you are not alone. As my regular readers know, I am not a fan
of “popping pills.” So, I understand your wanting to deal with your stress and feel good, without
medicine. Medicine, it seems, only masks symptoms, but does not deal with the
underlying cause of the physical discomfort.
While
I’m not a doctor, in your case the stress symptoms (indigestion and muscle
cramps) can be the result of your spine being out of alignment. If your nervous system (control by your
spinal alignment) is functioning properly, often your kind of symptoms
disappears completely. Tight muscles can
impact the positioning of your spine, which can also lead to indigestion.
You
probably cannot remove the stress in your life.
But you can help your body better respond without medicine. See a chiropractor, who can help your body
function more normally.
Question: My mother, 79,
lives alone (her choice). My sister, who
lives 500 miles away, spent a week with my mother and says my mother is
depressed. How can she know after only a
week?
Answer: Your sister might have
picked up on the situation because you are too close. Your sister can compare
how your mother acted on previous visits.
Some signs of depression include:
sleep disturbance, low interest in anything level; low or highly
elevated energy or concentration level, appetite up or down significantly
resulting in weight gain or loss.
Talk with your mother and identify her interests and daily routine. A multi-discipline medical geriatric evaluation may be appropriate.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
* * *
Do
you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered
individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever
possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya,
mail direct to her at
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 564 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.