Globe Syndicate
For
release
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
WHEN TO MOVE? ASK YOURSELF MANY QUESTIONS
Question: I’m 80, still drive and love my home of 40
years. Several of my friends have gone
on and another moved into a retirement community near her daughter. I don’t know what to do. How can I decide what’s good for me?
Answer: Only you can decide after looking honestly at
your lifestyle, quality of life (including health), what you do each day, what
you’d like to do, and how many friends (all ages) you still have nearby.
Look at: HEALTH PROBLEMS. Are there any that require medicine
oversight?
HOUSE MAINTENANCE AND REPAIRS. Does the house need major, costly repairs?
SOCIALIZATION. Are you a social person and like to be around
people? Do you want to make new friends
and engage in more and maybe new activities?
NUTRITION. Do you still like to cook? Or you may not cook, but like to eat
healthfully.
DRIVING. Is it likely you will have to stop driving in
the near future and need transportation to the supermarket, doctors and
activities?
LOCATION. Do you want to be closer to your children,
yet remain independent?
FINANCES. Do you have enough money to hire help in your
own home when you need specific tasks done or if you want live-in help?
Some retirement communities offer
potential residents a week or two “visit” in a furnished apartment. You can get a feel of a residence and see if
you are comfortable with having to make adjustments to your usual routine.
You need to focus on what you want
out of the rest of your life and how to best achieve these desires. A family conference and visiting various
alternative residences can help clarify your desires and concerns.
We had live-in help for seven years
so my parents could stay in their own home.
But do remember, there is no one
right or wrong decision. Lifestyle and
financial resources are very individual.
LIVING
ALTERNATIVE CAVEATS: Today’s wide range
of living alternatives enable people to live worry-free and have desired
services, from meals, to housekeeping, transportation, social and physical
activities. Peace of mind, both for the
older person and family, cannot be measured in dollars and cents.
However, the basic cost of
alternative living residences is higher than staying in one’s own home. According to a recent study by the American
Seniors Housing Association, studio apartment costs average $1,800 to $2,100 a
month; a one bedroom goes for $2,250 to $2,700; and a two bedroom from $2,750
to $3,300.
The study also shows that those living in alternative residences spend about $1,300 more each month than people living in their own home, and 45% of them use base assets to pay for everyday living expenses. This compares with 37% of those in their own home.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
* * *
Do
you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered
individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever
possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct
to her at
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 502 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.