Globe Syndicate

 

For release Friday September 22, 2006

 

The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents

 

by Carol Abaya, M.A.

 

TAPPING INTO PASSIONS CALMS

2nd of 2 parts

 

Last week we started to talk about ways to calm down an agitated or unhappy person who has Alzheimer’s or other dementia.  The key is to tap into that person’s passions and likes and to avoid dislikes.  The objective is to engage the brain at whatever level exists for that person.  We may not understand what engages the brain, but engagement often seems to be there when everyday reality isn’t.

 

Activities that engage the brain and help calm a person include:

            1.  Large picture books -- animals, plants and flowers, scenic, travel, famous people.  Pictures of whatever interested the person in earlier years.

            2.  Pets, real or toy, connect with everyone, regardless of age or mental capabilities.  Holding something soft and warm, petting a live pet, talking to a pet (again live or toy) engages the brain.  According to scientific studies pets help reduce blood pressure, agitation, and loneliness.

            3.  Children’s puzzles that do not have too many pieces and are of pretty pictures are helpful and keep restless hands busy.

            4.  Coloring books and crayons also engage the brain and hands.

            5.  Movies, especially musicals and cartoons, are pleasing images to watch and keep a demented person seated and calm.  How many times did your child watch 101 Dalmatians?  If a movie appears to interest the person, keep showing it.

            6.  Music can sooth.  Or if the person liked to dance, music with a beat can result in movement that is helpful to blood flow.

 

Along with the TIPS TO DO, there is a list of things to AVOID as dementia progresses and reaches end stages:

            1.  High activity places such as restaurants, malls, noisy holiday parties, can be confusing and result in panic attacks and agitation.

            2. Parties, in general, but especially those with more than just a couple of people can be troubling.  An elder, even if mentally competent, may have incontinence problems and get embarrassed if she has an accident.  Also, a couple of years ago one elder wrote to me that she doesn’t like parties because she can’t remember names and gets embarrassed.  Name tags might be helpful.

            3.  Totally bland foods are a turn off and result in weight loss and various other health problems.

 

            HELP IS OUT THERE!  A relatively new national organization is the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America, whose membership consists of some 700 information and service providers for Alzheimer’s patients and their families.  A telephone call to Dan Kaplan at 866-232-8484 can help locate both physical and emotional support in your local area.  Tell him I gave you his name.  Also, every Thursday at 9 p.m. EST, 6 p.m. PT, AFA has a telephone call in program, Care Connection, which has guest experts and helpful information for caregivers.  Call 1-877-232-2992 and then hit 271004# to get connected.  Past programs can be accessed through www.askdrjamie.net/selfcareradio.html   I was the guest expert on August 4 and 31.

 

Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time?  Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?

 

Do you feel alone?  Rest assured you are not alone!  The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.

 

* * *

 

Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.

 

Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.

 

NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 554 words; other material = 160 words

 

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