Globe Syndicate

 

For release Friday, October 27, 2006

 

The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents

 

by Carol Abaya, M.A.

 

STAFF LONGEVITY EQUALS HAPPIER RESIDENTS

 

Question:  We can no longer keep my mother, 90, at home and are looking at nursing homes.  We also have a problem with my father, 92, who is very upset about my mother.  What do we have to look for and what questions should we ask?

 

Answer:  As your parents have very different needs, you need to find a dual-level care facility.  Your mother can then be in the skilled nursing area, and your father in assisted living.  This way your father can visit your mother every day and have his own needs taken care of.

            Care philosophy and staffing retention level are key elements to quality of life and care elements.  Ask a lot of questions -- not only about the care per se, but how they view the residents as people.

            Is emphasis more on physical care than mental well-being?  One study reported in Provider magazine shows that even for bed-ridden or Alzheimer’s patients, mental health is closely tied to physical well-being.  If mental health elements are not addressed as an integral part of care, then residents deteriorate physically faster.

            The mental health aspect is especially important for your father.  Good mental health will determine your father’s ability to cope with being in an ALF and your mother’s condition.

            Other critical elements involve the staffing philosophy and turnover rates of key caregivers.

            Staff assigned to the same people over time develop a more positive relationship with the residents and are better able to identify health problems and deterioration.  Also, the elderly resident feels more secure knowing the same caregiver will be there every day.  Elder emotional security also ties into the health factor.

            Ask about the staff turnover rate and expect an honest answer.  More importantly talk to health aides and nurses and ask how long they have worked in this facility and how they like their work.  High turnover, unhappy staff and rotating care assignments are negative triggers.

            Personal observation and talking with other residents and family members can also help you decide if the facility is a ‘good’ one.  Sit in the lobby, activities room, dining room and watch how staff, residents and family interact.  Is the overall atmosphere positive?  Or are there more frowns than smiles?

            In the end, you and your father have to feel comfortable that both your father and mother will receive both the physical and emotional care they deserve.

 

Question:  My father, 82, cannot live alone and should be in an assisted living residence.  Then we’ll feel comfortable that he’s receiving 24/7 care he needs and deserves.  Someone told us that once in an ALF, my father’s freedoms are taken away.  Is this true?

 

Answer:  NO!  All freedoms are maintained by people, whether at home, in an assisted residence, or even in a skilled nursing home.

            Residents are free to come and go as they please, and to have visitors at all times.   Residents’ money remains their own, and assets should NEVER be turned over to the home.

 

 

Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time?  Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?

 

Do you feel alone?  Rest assured you are not alone!  The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.

 

 

 

* * *

 

Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.

 

Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.

 

NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 565 words; other material = 160 words

 

We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.