Globe Syndicate

 

For release Friday December 15, 2006

 

The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents

 

by Carol Abaya, M.A.

 

ELDERS ARE MORE SENSITIVE IN THE COLD WEATHER

 

Question:  I visited my parents the other day and found many bloody tissues in the bedroom wastebasket.  My father says his nose runs and when he blows it, there is blood.  He is very stubborn and refuses to go to the doctor.  What should I do?

 

Answer:  During winter months, the air gets very dry because the heat is on.  This impacts nasal membranes and can cause bleeding.

            You need to get moisture into the air.  Furnace-mounted evaporative humidifiers work best.  Alternatively, small unit humidifiers can be placed in the bedroom (a must) and other rooms of high use, such as the family or living room.  Pans with water placed on radiators can also be effective.

            Unless bleeding is continuous, a doctor probably is not needed.

 

Question:  I’m tearing my hair out because my parents insist on going out even during snowy weather.  I’m afraid they’ll fall and break bones as the garage is 40 feet from the house.  I live 60 miles away and can’t get there to shovel every time it snows.  They won’t listen to me.

 

Answer:  Long distance “concern” and caregiving is difficult.  To ensure a clean driveway, steps and sidewalks -- and your parents’ safety -- you or your parents should make arrangements ahead of time with someone local -- an individual or a lawn care company that plows snow in the winter time.  If your parents are on their regular “to plow” list, then snow can be cleared and your parents can do what they want to.  The individual or company can bill either your parents or yourself.

            You should give guidelines as to how much snow should fall before they plow.  This is determined by how much your parents can safely handle themselves.  My father handled light snow (3-4 inches) well into his 80s. 

            Price should be agreed upon beforehand, leaving in flexibility for really heavy snow falls.

            If your parents refuse to make arrangements, tell them you're concerned because accidents do happen.  Then YOU should make the arrangements.

 

Question:  We stayed in my parents’ house at Thanksgiving for three days.  During that time my mother bathed only once.  Her clothes stank, and she began to smell bad.  She refused to bathe more and got mad at me when I mentioned her dirty clothes.  She was never like this in the past.  How do we get her to bathe more often?

 

Answer:   During the winter, older people are more sensitive to cold.  Their skin often becomes thinner and frailer and blood circulation may diminish.  No one likes to get out of a tub or shower and feel cold.

            While many electric space heaters are a fire hazard, there are safe ones.  They are shaped like an old fashioned radiator and have oil trapped inside which flows around and gives off heat.  By heating the bathroom before and during the bath or shower, your mother will feel more comfortable and is more likely to bathe more regularly.

 

 

Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time?  Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?

 

Do you feel alone?  Rest assured you are not alone!  The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.

 

* * *

 

Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.

 

Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.

 

NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 564 words; other material = 160 words

 

We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.