Globe Syndicate

 

For release Friday December 22, 2006

 

The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents

 

by Carol Abaya, M.A.

 

DEPRESSION INCREASES IN THE WINTER

 

Question:  My father died last summer and this is the first winter without him.  My mother, 76, who lives alone, has become reclusive and depressed.  She says she’s OK and refuses to see a doctor.  What can we do to bring back the spark to her personality?

 

Answer:  More than a third of older people suffer from SAD - seasonal affected depression.  SAD can adversely affect moods, the feeling of well-being, and quality of life.  The long dreary dark days of winter and the cold can trigger SAD.  People always talk about the weather, and if it’s extreme, they talk about it obsessively and negatively.  This can result in SAD. 

            January and February are the worst months for SAD.  However, December and the holidays can also trigger negative feelings.  The days are shorter, and darkness closes down many people’s minds.  Because people may be forced to stay home more, feelings of isolation and loneliness are more extreme.  Some hibernate, stay in bed all day.  Others crave carbohydrates which may increase energy in the short term but which adversely impact overall nutrition.

            Using a “deflection” strategy can help elders focus on more positive, happier things.  You need to look for happy triggers.  The more one is able to help older parents focus away from problems and negatives, the less likely SAD will occur. 

            What are the sources of a person’s joy?  What events do they have to look forward to?  If a person has something good to look forward to, depression is reduced.   Listen, visit, and talk about the good things that are happening.

Advice:  Brighten up the day.  Bring color, outdoor smells and “life” into the elder’s home.

            • Flowering plants bring in a sense of outdoors.

            • Colorful cut flowers help cheer a person up.

            • Potpourri or scented candles bring in outdoor smells.

            • Pets provide a tie to another living thing.

            • Buy, and have an elder wear, bright colored clothes.

            • Set the table with a bright tablecloth with dishes in a contrasting color.

 

The “people connection” element also helps reduce the feeling of isolation.

            • Encourage elders to maintain pen pals or frequent telephone calls to friends.                                  • Send video tapes and pictures of family activities when there is a geographic                             distance.

            • When family members travel, send pictures so the elder can look at them                  and have a sense of   “connection.”

            • Encourage the elder to develop a family tree with the help of other family                  members.

            • Encourage the elder to write each adult child a letter remembering                                         happenings when the child was small.

            • Rent oldies video tapes or books on tape for those with poor eyesight.

            And some more simple ways to reduce the winter gloom:

            • Light up the house.  Put larger bulbs in lamps and ceiling fixtures.  Put lamps                         on a timer, so the rooms used more often are bright at night.

            • Put on lively or soothing music to enhance that important “connection”                                   element.

            • A vacation in a warmer climate.

 

 

Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time?  Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?

 

Do you feel alone?  Rest assured you are not alone!  The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.

 

* * *

 

Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.

 

Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.

 

NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 571 words; other material = 160 words

 

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